Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why do so many people like life?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What is a sermon to talk about men?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why do so many 18 to 29-year-old men struggle in dating?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

'Orthorexia' Is More And More Common. Here's What You Should Know About It. - HuffPost

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fakery

What are your thoughts on the trend of Americans labeling themselves as "TikTok refugees" and migrating to the Chinese social media platform RedNote (Xiaohongshu)?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I use email aliases to hide my Gmail address, and it's the best privacy move I can recommend - Android Authority

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand how hurricane paths work

I just cannot wake up early, even if I sleep on time. What should I do?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I found out I have cancer—I have not told my family. We can’t afford the treatment anyway. Should I just say nothing and let nature take its course?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

What are the defining characteristics of woke liberals and conservatives in the United States?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I can count

Why doesn’t the UK change their flag?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Have husbands and wives ever had a threesome with someone in real life? How did it happen?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Do countries with free health care generally have co-pays or deductibles to discourage use?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

UN calls for investigation into killings near Gaza aid site - BBC

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have an acute aversion to scumbags